The Space Between

Shock, searching, disorganization, and reorganization, these are the stages we go through when we lose someone close to us. We grieve. But after every storm, the sky clears, and the sun shines again. It may not feel like it now, but the warmth always returns. Life’s constant change is what brings balance to imbalance. It disrupts stagnation, forcing growth where things have become still. Just like nature, relationships are never static. Every relationship faces tests, moments that either strengthen the bond or break it. These are the points where we choose to stand strong together or stand strong apart. And there’s no limit to how many tests we will face. Ours was no different. We were stretched to see how far we could go, to test the depth of our connection. We both know how that ended. But today is not about that. Today, the feeling is different. We got the chance to talk again, after that last conversation that laid bare the state of our relationship. This time, it was about acknow...

I wake up every morning with this lingering urge to check my messages, did she send a text? But just like the past few days, the answer is always the same, silence. Moving on isn’t easy. I don’t know how you managed to do it so effortlessly. I say "effortlessly" because even when things started feeling off between us, you never wanted to address it. You never confronted me. But I did. Every time I felt something was wrong, I brought it up. I wanted us to talk through it. I kept saying that without good communication, a relationship becomes difficult. I guess, at some point, we lost that,  communication . Still, the habit of waking up to your messages lingers. It's muscle memory now, reaching for my phone, hoping to see your name. I know that the only way to move on is to completely let go. But that’s the hardest part, isn’t it? It’s the holding on that keeps a small part of me believing there’s still a chance. The last time we spoke, I told you, "I don’t know what e...

They say we learn lessons from the experiences we have. Some are good, some are painful and so might wish to forget. But everything in life happens for a reason. Life is a constant flow of change, never stagnant. People come into our lives, some stay and some leave, some stay longer than others, but what truly matters is the impact they leave behind. You came into my life, and you stayed. And by staying gave me something I never even thought to seek. Though distance separated us, it always felt like you were right next to me. I got to live in a world where I could turn to one person and the rest of the world would stand still. Someone I could completely be myself with. Adam and Eve were both naked and unashamed, until the moment Adam sinned, instantly they saw their nakedness and ran to hide. For most moments, I was Adam, you gave me no reason to hide, everything felt right with you. You became my safe space. You were my soulmate. It is said that one of the purpose of  soulmates is...

Now it’s evident that we are no longer together, but every part of me still longs to talk to you. I want to hear from you, to know how you are doing, how your day is going, to check in and make sure you are okay. But at this point, I did not really know what to do. Should I call?  Should I not? Should I send a text instead? An email, maybe? What form of communication, if any, would feel right? Even if I found an answer, I still had to ask myself what state are you in right now? Would hearing from me be too soon, or maybe too late? How would you feel if my name popped up on your screen? Would it bring comfort, or would it only make things harder? Would I be holding you back from moving on, or have you already moved on completely? There are so many thoughts, so many unanswered questions. But what I do know is that I do not want to live with regrets, wondering about the things I should have said or done. So instead, I choose to put it all here. This is my way of airing out my t...